When I was 24, I got the best professional gift a one-woman marketing department could ask for - approval to hire some help. I knew nothing about hiring, much less about managing, but I knew I needed help if I was going to make any material growth towards our company’s marketing and sales objectives (if sleeping and eating were to be regular activities in my week).
Six years later, I’m still figuring it out. I discover an interview question I should have been asking all along, I learn a better way to communicate critical feedback, and my team, unicorns I don’t deserve, is mastering managing-up. But I’ve learned a few things along the way that I wish I could email back in time to my 24 year old self. Since I can’t, I’m hoping this finds its way to other bright-eyed newbs embarking on their first management experiences, wondering how the hell to build their own experience and an experienced team at the same time.
1. If you let your age define you, so will everyone else.
The first time I interviewed someone ten years my senior, I experienced my first rush of imposter syndrome. Who was I to interview this experienced professional? Why would they want to work for me? What if they are smarter or better than me? I remember calling my brother and admitting I didn’t feel like a “Director” and I wasn’t sure how to fill those shoes. He said something profoundly simple, “You just act like it.” He added other encouragement and flattery about why I was qualified to do my job but his general feedback was to just act like it and watch how others responded. He said, “If you act like a Director, that is how others are going to treat you.” You set the tone for every interaction you initiate - people will respond to what you present. Even if you don’t feel qualified, experienced, or old enough to be hiring and managing, someone feels you are - and that’s why you’re in the position you’re in. Just start acting like it and notice how people respond - you’ll be surprised how quickly that changes your mind.
Ok, but how do I apply that?
Reach out to other professionals, preferably older than you, that have your same title or role. Establish a monthly or quarterly call to share lessons learned and challenges - you’ll gain a mentor, peer and regular reminder of why you’re fit to be where you’re at.
2. Find someone to complain to.
Small or remote teams, frankly, get shit done. They are rarely limited by internal bureaucracies, they typically have one clear decision maker to report to and they experiment, fail and iterate quickly to get to what works. However, they typically lack formal management or HR structure that large companies long ago figured out can be critical to employee relationships and communications. When you work with a small team that reports to you, you’ll find yourself complaining out loud about issues your team can’t fix and probably can’t understand in the context of their day to day. As a manager, it’s critical to find someone to complain to, who also doesn’t report to you. Whether it’s someone in your personal life, or someone you can trust at your level in the company, having an outlet lets you blow off steam without inadvertently affecting your team’s morale. Remember you’re essentially a parent - when you’re worried or upset, your team will be worried or upset. Think hard before unloading burdens that you’re paid and entrusted to carry.
Ok, but how do I apply that?
Get access to an organizational chart and make friends. Build trust and rapport with someone who isn’t involved in your day-to-day but operates at a similar level in the company. Be prepared to be their sounding board as well. If your company is so small you’re having a hard time identifying someone, talk to your boss and see if they can help connect you with others in the industry that they trust and who face your same challenges.
3. Plan ahead for continuing education.
If you’re a young manager, more often than not you’re at a young company. Along with the previously mentioned lack of HR resources, professional development resources are likely to be slim. It’s on you to get creative about how you continue to improve your tactical and strategic skills and help your team do the same. Get approval on a plan or budget for continuing education before hiring your team. And don’t forget to plan continuing education for yourself as a manager, not just your new team members. Do your research on the options available and the impact continuing education can have on your team’s output. It takes time to move the needle on budget for things like this, start early. The earlier you start asking, the further along you are to getting approval.
Ok, but how do I apply that?
Research all professional development options available, free and paid. Look into professional organization memberships, local and national events, online courses, certification courses offered by the software you use, etc. Ask your team what opportunities they would take advantage of if the company paid for it. Put together a detailed proposal, organized by cost and benefits, and be prepared to negotiate to get it done. And make sure you have a plan to summarize and communicate the value derived from anything that gets approved - so it keeps getting approved in years to come.
4. Admit when you don’t have the answer.
My favorite nugget of wisdom to share with recent college grads is, “Don’t worry, most people don’t know what they are doing.” I may manage a team and marketing budget beyond what I had ever dreamed, but I still enjoy the look on my team’s faces when they ask me a tactical or strategic question and I answer, “I’m not sure. Why don’t you look into that and let me now what you think?” Being a leader does not mean having all the answers. In fact, the most effective leaders I’ve worked with are the most shameless in admitting how few answers they have. They make few assumptions, operate on facts not feelings, and put in the research necessary to make informed decisions. As you embark on leading at a young age, the tendency is to misconstrue my first point about “acting the part” above. Acting the part doesn’t mean pretending to hold all the knowledge, it means leading the effort to gather and sort through information and make an intelligent and forward-thinking decision. By the way, your team will also respect and replicate your transparency and be less likely to lie to you when they don’t know the answer.
Ok, but how do I apply that?
Practice taking 10-20 seconds before replying to a question you weren’t expecting. Become okay with a decent pause, and not filling it with “Um.” If you still don’t have an answer after that time and feel your mind racing, practice saying, “Let me look into/think on it and get back to you. When should I get you an answer by?” You’ll avoid saying something you regret, and you’ll empower your team to also give thoughtful, data-driven answers.
5. Get comfortable talking about your mistakes.
This one has come slowly and painfully to me. As a young professional “acting” like you belong among more seasoned professionals - it feels like your image and reputation are constantly under a spotlight. Can the youngin’ hack it? Should she really be running this project? This makes it hard to admit mistakes, especially when you’re working your ass off not to make them. The sooner you get comfortable with analyzing and communicating your mistakes, the quicker you gain respect as someone who can fail and quickly learn from it.
Ok, but how do I apply that?
Be the first person to speak up when you make a mistake, but make sure you have a solution ready to communicate as well. I’ve even heard of teams who get together weekly to talk through a big “fail” from the week and what they learned from it. Give your best friends a call, ask what they failed at lately, share your experiences and note that even after all that failure, you’re all still alive and employed. Sara Blakely, one of my spirit animals, always notes how her dad would ask them around the dinner table “What did you fail at lately?” so she learned early to get comfortable talking about failures.
I have several more lessons learned for young managers, but you’ll have to wait until I get some of these wedding thank you notes done!